And now, to my second favorite topic, guns. (My first favorite? You.)
Now if you need proof that having a gun in your house is a smart move -- it's like owning a tiny, potty-trained dog that shoots bullets -- then ponder the F out of this fun story.
Last night in Portland, Oregon, a man named Timothy James Chapek called 911. The reason? He was terrified and in distress. He thought he was going to die, and rightly so. After all, he had an unkempt beard.
But more important, Chapak had broken into a house, and was there in the bathroom taking a shower when the homeowner returned. The owner asked Chapek what he was doing, and Chapek responded by locking himself in the john and calling 911.
The reason? He told the operator he thought the owner -- a woman -- had a gun.
Yep, he called law enforcement because he feared an armed lady he just tried to rob moments earlier.
The homeowner also called the cops, but the real story is the change in behavior whenever a gun enters the picture. If someone thinks and fears that you have a gun, he becomes wonderfully amenable. Which means, when a gun arrives, the lifespan of a crime diminishes, too.
Here the homeowner didn't have to brandish a pistol, the thought of one, was enough.
Anyway, the perp ended up in jail and I don't think the homeowner really had a gun to begin with. What mattered? The intruder thought otherwise.
And if you disagree with me, you're worse than Hitler.
Read more: http://www.foxnews.com/on-air/red-eye/transcript/gutfeld-proof-having-gun-your-house-smart-move#ixzz1G7qozri7
KN: This will get the leftheads undies in a knot.